And I immediately thought of Lili, from then on, lili became my stand－in. As long as I fail to complete, Lili replaced me. She won’t do as before a naked stand－in.
Because of this, Lili not only had a higher income, but also had a better life than before.
I hadn’t been optimistic about the relationship between her and Zhao Mo, always thought Zhao Mo lecherous and to be together with lily was because she had a good figure, young and beautiful.
But now it seemed that I was wrong. The two of them had been in a stable relationship. They will get married soon. If free, they two stayed clingy. Lili jested Zhao Mo was a good boyfriend standard who was aware of women, the sex was too pleased because of his wit.
All of a sudden, I found Lili had become lustful, which must be brought by Zhao Mo. No matter what, she lived happily, as for the other were unimportant.
On the day of lili‘s wedding, I went to attend the wedding, which was the first top search. Lili‘s wedding itself was normal, but it was Because of my fame that this event attracted much attention.
Because of this event, I had a lot of negative effects. The next day when I went to work in the company, I was called by my agent, who also found a professional public relations company to deal with the crisis.
"Xiang, why were you so careless? Could you tell me previously before you go out next time?" My agent twisted his fingers in the air and spun around in front of me.
He was a sissy, and I liked to imitate his speech, which I found very interesting.
“well, well, I know it! And could the aftermath
be settled by you?" I also raised my sissy fingers.
"You did this every time you get into trouble. Next time you go to a wedding, you might as well see who they are. That Lili is a naked－stand－in. For fear that others didn’t know you are naked－stand－in before. Look at those keyboard men are how diss you, now the Internet is full of your those indecent photos...... "
Indeed, because of this matter, I was scolded very miserably. Everyone took out all the things I had done before, and the influence was very bad. Although the company also found the public relations company to tidy up the crisis, it took some time to overcome it.
All this time I was idling at home, going to my mother‘s side in addition to being at home. Till she told me that she wanted to go back to the country and that the pace of life in the city was too fast for her old age.
Her condition wasn’t bad, it was good for her health to find a fresh environment for retirement, I found someone to send her back to the countryside, and I continued to stay in the urban, with Shen Jinnian.
If he didn‘t work, we stayed at home to watch TV and gossip, eat and sleep together, and have sex every night.
Every time he can make me high. For so long, I was never tired of his rudeness. He became more and more obsessed with my body, no matter how late he came back every night, he would wake me up from the dream, and then after a good intercourse, he would hug me to sleep.
He never said to marry me, never said I should be Mrs. Shen. But I became the only woman accompanying him. No one knew our ture relationship and I was Shen Jinnian’s mistress. The public only knew that I was celebrity from his company Danwan Media Group.
Today was the birthday of him, we all crews held a birthday party for him in company. He was in a very delighted mood. We returned home to continue to drink wine to celebrate.
Tonight, I dressed myself up for his pleasure, so sexy that I couldn‘t help staring at myself.
But no matter how I dressed up, the only point was absolutely I can‘t deliberately imitate Yuwan, or that will make him unhappy.
Halfway of our enjoyment, he patted his thigh and asked me to sit on it. I nodded my head and hobbled over. My plump buttocks landed firmly on his thigh and gently rubbed it. He r sensed in his bone at once.
His long fingers fell on my waist and he asked me what perfume I was spraying today and why it smelled so good.
I said, "you forget! Didn‘t you bring it back from France for my birthday last time?"
He smiled, then picked me up and went to the bedroom, I knew, he wanted to keep his way on me. He tried to cater me, let us feel comfortable this night. Our every move worked perfectly to drive us pleased, indulged in the seconds.
It was all good, when he gave me the last heave at his waist, he hugged me tightly and I buried my head in his chest. In this night, when the air was full of hormones, but I said a sentence to him.
“Will you married me, Jinnian?”
He never mentioned it, and I never dare to ask.
But sometimes I was thinking, we lived together, we slept in the same bed every night, he has no other woman but me, didnot mean our relationship?
I was under the cover of his birthday today, the atmosphere was so good, I boldly put forward.
But I never expected his reaction to be so furious.
He was full of passion last seconds, and suddenly he lost his feeling for me. He stood up at the head of the bed and looked at me lying on the bed with downcast eyebrows and eyes, stiffly, sternly. I was coward.
"Remember, in this life, except for Yuwan, no one has this qualification." He asked me to remember this sentence, never mention it in front of him again, otherwise, didn‘t blame him heartless.
Then he stood in front of the sill, looked out, and smoked his cigarette.
I knew, he thought of Yuwan again. But she died many years ago, she can never revive. Even so, no one can’t take her place in his heart?
So, if I wanted to stay with Shen Jinnian, Was I only his mistress for a lifetime?
Thinking of here, tears will not help but fall, I was also a human, sad too, but who will care about my feelings?
A year later, Lili‘s children‘s 100－day－old dinner I still went to attend. Although I knew, the paparazzo made use of the event and digging my secret out to issue. And then the company had to pay for it, I had to go home to stay.
But I went anyway, because some things, in my opinion,were not so important, as an celebrity, I had money to spend, and I lived a good life, I needn’t to care about what others though, I just wanted to live as the way as I like.
Looking at Lili holding the lovely baby at that moment, my heart was thrust by a needle that I followed Shen Jinnian more than a year, He wanted me every night. He can‘t leave my body.
But every time he would supervise me to take the medicine before I went to bed. He wouldn‘t let me have a child. I knew he was afraid that I would have a child, and then he was threatened by me to marry.
However, as a woman, I also hoped to have a happy family. And all this, Shen Jinnian can not give me. I knew I was like a moth to the flame, but I still can not leave him, a fate.
After all the guests had gone, Lili and I sat down together, we talked a lot. She asked me how I was getting along with Shen Jinnian, and how my stomach had not responded. She asked me when I would get married with Shen Jinnian.
Many things I did not tell Lili, so she thought I was very happy. But when I looked down and sighed, she knew I ain’t as bright as it seemed.
"What‘s come over you, Xiang? Is Shen Jinnian bad to you?" Lili asked me.
At this moment, my nose suddenly felt sour and cried, so I held Lili.
"No, he is good to me." I said.
Indeed, Shen Jinnian was very good to me, he bought me anything I want. As long as it is related to money, he was never stingy, but he knew that what I wanted was not these!
"So why?" Lili continued to ask me, she really wanted to know what happened to me, Usually we were too busy to chat.
"Lili, I envy you now. If only I could do the same." I held her close and sighed.
Lili immediately understood, "Shen Jinnian can‘t give you, right?"
"Yes! Yuwan is the only one in his heart. "I laughed to myself.
Perhaps, the relation between me and Shen Jinnian cannot change forever, there was a Yuwan between us forever, although that woman already did not exist.
"But after so many years, why should Shen Jinnian put all the pain in his heart on you? Is he a psychopath?" Lili was aggrieved for me.
"But if there was no Yuwan, I can‘t stand aside him, can I?" I knew this very well. "Forget it, stop it. Today we are here to chat happiness only.”
Then I turned away our topic. But my heart was still painful. When back home, I seemed to be stimulated, unhappy.
Till shen jinnian came back, he was not aware of anything wrong with me. He just came quietly and picked me up from the sofa and went to the bedroom.
After putting me on the bed, he couldn‘t wait to jump up and frantically ask for me.
If it was in ordinary time, I would certainly to meet him, please him, make him satisfied. But today, I was at a lost, always absent－minded, lay on the bed like a corpse, when he entered, he played for a while, with feeling dull then stopped, said I as dry sticks and branches.
“Ha ha......” I laughed, even he also began to loathe me, like Wang Qiang once threw me off, he also said I dry without fun.
But the time of being passionate in love, he said sweet words that will never leave me again and again. Haha however those only were their excuse. Hearing this sentence, I was provoked, I argued with Shen Jinnian for the confrontation.
"Now you dislike my dullness. Will you soon, I guess you should bring other women back, and I can retire with honor, right?" My tone of voice was aggressive and harsh.
Shen Jinnian‘s face also sank down gloomily, but he was in forbearance： "unreasonable."
He turned and dressed as he ran out the door, and at that moment I was desperately chasing him out. I knew that what I was going to say might irritate him, but I had to say it.
I stopped Shen Jinnian and asked him with tears in my eyes, "Shen Jinnian, in your heart, what do you account me for? The mistress? A lover? Or is it a tool?"
I really wanted to know what he really thought of me, whether he ever spared a place for me in his heart, even a little, a small corner.
He was not showing traces of smile, that let me cannot guess his mind, he said： "None."
At this moment, I laughed, I asked him, “Non—none, great, because I is just her replacement, always will be, even if I become your only woman, standing beside you. Every day, I will always be her replacement, right?
"If you know, why ask so much?" He was very cruel, then got out.
His attitude really let me down. It really broke my heart.
“Shen Jinnian, you bastard! you are exact madman!"
"If you don‘t love me, why should you keep me around? If you don‘t love me, why should you possess me? If you don‘t love me, why don‘t you let me go?"
"Why do you want me to be her shadow? I am a human. I am a individual with flesh and blood.”
Shen Jinnian resolutely left lead me disheartened, I did not expect the outcome was like this.
I stand alone still in place, as if the whole body was stiff, I slowly fell down, sitting on the ground like a walking corpse. Desperate tears streamed down the corner of the eye. Sadness covered me.
I thought that if I could stand by his side, if I was the only woman around him, I would have a chance to be with him, beloved each other.
This moment I know, I was wrong, this was just my naive idea. No one would warm Shen Jinnian‘s heart which was made of stone. Even if I stayed in his side humbly, but I failed. Would there be a better choice?
I asked myself for countless times, if I left Shen Jinnian , can I live?
If I didn‘t stand in for the woman, if I didn‘t stand by him as such way, would there be a second way I can go?